Crazy Stories From Strip Clubs… (17 GIFS)
22 Feb 2022
"Bottle service was flowing and there were 4 dancers around us giving dances to each of us. Someone farted….badly. Bad enough that all of the girls left and they left abruptly. Like, record screeching to a stop and everyone was gagging kinda bad. It’s been like 10 years. I wanna know who dropped that bomb."
"This was at my buddy’s bachelor party in Germany. We found a place we thought was a strip joint. Turns out it was a brothel. The hostess, looking offended, said in German, “You can have sex but they won’t dance for you.”"
"On Halloween I saw a stripper dressed up as Patrick (inflatable suit version) grinding on a pole."
[The Best Reply runner-up goes to…]
“Is this the stripper we ordered?” “No this is Patrick”
"On Halloween I saw a stripper dressed up as Patrick (inflatable suit version) grinding on a pole."
[The Best Reply Award goes to…]
"Whole new meaning to “is this the Krusty Krab?”"
"No joke, they had an Arby’s upstairs. It was beautiful. This was also over 10 years ago so there’s a good chance this place doesn’t exist anymore, but if you’re in the SoCal area and feeling adventurous I’d say go for it."
"A girl took out her nipple piercings, replaced them with matches, lit the matches, and had one of the guys in our group blow them out. Holly Tamale I won’t forget you lmao"
"My buddy was in the backroom getting some private dances. The bar did last call so my second friend decides to go and pull my first friend out from the back. Except, en route, the bouncers stopped him. My buddy pretends he’s personal security and is just looking for his client. Questions were asked and he ends up paying the bouncers $20 (the cost to enter the private room with a dancer) just to leave in peace."
"Went to a club in Bangkok one time, had to see what the hype was about. Walked in and sat down, shortly thereafter these two girls come out with a cucumber. One of them then sticks the cucumber in her hoo haa and the other one eats it bite by bite out of her, with the last piece being shot out into the crowd."
"A friend and I were at a table in a raised seating area just chilling. I looked over to the front and saw the biggest guy I’d ever seen in my life walk in – a veritable wall of meat. I said “Holy shit that’s a big guy!”, and my friend starts to freak out a little – “You mean you don’t know who that is? That’s the Big Show! From WWE!” He came over, shook hands and said hi for a bit before finding his own spot."
"I had a very nicely done caricature drawing done of myself…from a woman using a sharpie marker as a makeshift dildo pen. Was amazing! Somehow lost it over the years, unfortunately."
"FINALLY! A question for me! I’m a bartender at a strip club, so i see outlandish things all the time. One that stuck out was a man laid out 1,000 dollars on stage and told the lady to piss on him. She proceeded to take the money and do exactly that."
"A girl was on stage and we were sitting close and I was looking at my buddy talking to him when all of a sudden I get smashed in the side of the face. I honestly thought the guy beside me punched me I looked at him like wtf. Then suddenly the stripper was grabbing my by my face apologizing and I was a bit confused. All my buddies were laughing their ass off and say she was doing some crazy ass swinging from the pole and her foot just smashed me."
"The girls dragged my buddy onto stage and sat him on a chair. The biggest girl there slammed her ass down on him so hard his false tooth popped out and they had to turn on the lights and everyone was looking for it. They gave him 2 free shots, one to say sorry and the other to put the tooth in to disinfect it."
"Stripper went all around the stage getting on all fours right in front of a small group and giving them a flashlight. She then spread her cheeks and wanted the guys to aim the flashlight and peer inside of her. It was so weird."
[The Best Reply Award goes to…]
"WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!"
"A stripper asked me if I wanted to see a trick. I said “sure,” and she proceeded to do a handstand on my knees and booty bounce my face. Pretty sure I got whiplash that night."
"A former student of mine. She was part of my 4th grade classroom years prior. One day I went to our local strip club with a few friends and the girl on stage kept looking towards our table. Later on, she came right to me and asked if I remembered her. At first I didn’t… until she told me her name. I felt so weird. She was like “I really liked your class” and “I remember you helping me with my math”. Then she game me a hug and she wanted to give me a lap dance. I left and haven’t gone there since"
You must have been ugly... or poor.